The Secret to My Garden.....

I met him on a Thursday, it was the beginning of fall. Although he came to me to conduct business, my temptress couldn’t help but seduce him, just a little. I maintained my professionalism. However the way I licked my lips, and swayed my hips while still maintaining my cool intrigued him. 

“So what would you like to eat for lunch?” he asked me.

“ Lunch?” I asked innocently.

“ Yes, you have to eat right?” he asked.

“Right,” 

“So let me take you to lunch.” 

His assertiveness had turned me on, I couldn’t help but to be interested, besides I was hungry. 

Like a gentlemen, he drove his car around and opened my door for me. We cruised calmly through the downtown streets listening to Wale telling me that I was his Lotus Flower. 

He took me too a coy spot downtown. The food boasts of a mom and pop taste with a modern swag. 

We began to relax as we talked lightly about our pasts. The yearning in his eyes let me know that our future would be filled with hot and heavy nights.

“ Are you single? ” I asked

“Divorced,” he answered with a gruff voice, his head laid low as if he was counting the streams of steam that rose off of his plate. 

“ How long?”

“ Three months, “ he looked up at me. I watched his guard slowly fall as he realized that I only wanted to get to know him. 

“ And you?” he asks

“ Single, for now.”

“ Now?”

“ Yea, a pretty girl like me doesn’t stay single for too long,” I said with a slight laugh. 

He smiled, “ You’re right, a PYT like you wouldn’t know anything about being single for too long.” 

“ And how young do you think I am?” I felt my black girl attitude peaking through my proper persona.

He chuckled at my reaction,“I don’t mean to offend you but I would say at least 10 years. “ 

My body language definitely disagreed.

The soft look on his face reflected his understanding, “ Ok.... so tell me, where were you in 1993?” he asked. 

"I was becoming a big sister  and entering the next grade in elementary school.” 

His face was laced with shock.

“ Wow....” was all he could say, my youth made him speechless. 

“ And where were you?” I wanted to know

“Pledging my fraternity while taking over my second year in college.” 

“ Ok cool, so there are things that you can teach me,“ I responded nonchalantly.  He realized that he was the only one paralyzed by shock and fixed his face.

“ Yea , anything.” he simply replied. 

“ Age doesn’t matter to me, you aren’t the first man that I have dated that was where you were in 1993.” 

“ O really?” he asked. 

I had to think about my reply. I didn’t want him to think that I was some chick looking for a sugar daddy. I create relationships based off of how I feel. Materials, looks, and finer things are wonderful perks, but when it all falls down I want to  know that my hero is the man I wake up to every morning. 

“ Yes, he was the same age as you. My maturity and hunger for life keeps me from holding interest in the men in my age range.”

“ And how is that?” he asked.

 Our conversation was turning into a therapeutic session.

“I like to be mentally stimulated, motivated, loved, learned, spanked, and taught a lesson, while still being protected. Unfortunately men my age don’t understand what that is because they haven’t achieved that level of maturity yet.”

“ I understand, and it’s good to know. I honestly didn’t think you were that young. You carry yourself very well,” he gave me a coy smile slightly revealing his pearly white teeth. I took a moment to truly look at the man across from me. He was fine like the wine my lips yearn to sip. His years of playing football caused his body to maintain it’s gladiator frame. His salt and pepper beard was closely shaven complimenting the cool grey color of his eyes.

We spent our lunch learning of each other, laughing and joking. Debating about the best football teams in the league and drifting in our thoughts of love, passion, and the pursuit of happiness. 

He pulled next to my car.

“ I enjoyed you, “ he said.

“ Thank you I enjoyed your time too.” 

“ So let’s do it again, dinner next time,” he said.

“ I’d like that, “ I smiled and gently replied, “ Thank you for lunch and your company I look forward to hearing from you soon.”

“ Hey babe, “ he said.

“ Yea,” I meekly replied. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered, he called me babe.

“ Meet me for a night cap, tonight at the Ritz,”

“Ok,” was all I could manage to say. 

I gracefully stepped out of his car, managing to maintain my balance amongst the clouds I was floating on. He guided me to my car and opened my door for me . He lightly kissed my cheek and said,” I’ll see you tonight.” 

I had spent the evening marinating in the tub. I let the lavender oil seep into my system as Musiq sexily told me how beautiful I am.

“ Well Ms.Peele, what are we going to do with ourselves?” I asked more so asking the bubbles in the tub than myself. It’s funny how things happen. We happened to be moguls, happened to be single, happened to be sexy, and now we are willing to see if what happened will be happening?

After soaking for an hour or so, I began the process of getting dressed. 

“ Time for elegance,” I said to myself while smiling at my reflection. The black lace set I was wearing was the perfect accompaniment to my red pouty lips. The steam made them moist, as if the taste for love dripped from them. 

I was definitely feeling myself. My confidence that cruised throughout the day decided to take the express lane to class. It was not only my plan to “ woo” him I was going to enwrap him in the addiction of me.

Before slipping on my little black dress. I took one last overview of what laid underneath. There’s something about black that accentuates my light skin. The lace perfectly traced the outline of my tear dropped bottom that was topped with two dimples on each cheek. I wore my favorite Prada stilettos. The 6 inch heels were the perfect accent to my toned curves. My months of running showed. I slipped on my fitted black number and headed to the Ritiz, wondering if he would be the beat to my lyrics.

As I handed the valet my keys, my Fossil clicked half past 8.

”Every girl is fashionably late,” I thought to myself.

The Ritz was my secret dream hotel. I loved it's old hollywood glam. When I entered the lobby it felt as if I had drifted back in time. It held a speak easy feel, sexy and intimate. The melodies of the Jazz Band guided me to the bar. The smells of rum and lust created the perfect cocktail for the night. Everyone was in arms, and I was waiting to be in his.

Then I saw him. His 6’5 frame moved stealthily through the crowd. He kept his eyes on me, even when he was being watched by everyone else.

“ You’re gorgeous, “ was the first thing he said to me.

“ You don’t look too bad yourself,” I said while giving a seductive smile.

He chuckled lightly, “ Shall we?” he asked as he extended his hand.

I lightly placed my hand into his. He folded his fingers as if he were wrapping a delicate package. My heart smiled at the comfort I felt.

He led me to a private section of the bar. I sat into my seat and gazed upon the handsome gladiator that I accompanied. 

He wore a dark navy suite, tailored of course. The diamonds in his ear gleamed at my pearls. They matched the Rolex he sported ever so casually. 

“ So how did I do?” 

“ I’m sorry whaa...what did you say?” his questioned snapped me out of my daze.

He laughed, “ You’re the fashion expert Ms. Peele how did your boy do?” his deep voice asked again. 

His smile challenged my hard to get persona. My heart was yearning to fall in love with this man. I not only wanted to feed him the sex, love, and other drugs I cooked in my kitchen of thoughts, I never wanted to skip dessert, because he deserved every bit of it.

“ You did great,“ I replied while giving him a soft smile.

“ Thank you. So what can I get you?”

“ Hmmm, let’s start with chardonnay,” I replied.

“ Classy I see,” he winked.

“ One of many things.”

He laughed. “ I must say you are the first woman i’ve met that has had such spice.”

“ Too hot for you I see?” I asked playfully. 

“ Nope,” he walked over to me and whispered deeply, “ I like the heat.”

After two Chardonnays, and three dry martinis, our true feelings set the table.

“I like you,” he said, “ and I want to see where this goes.”

“ Well... I won’t argue with that,” I responded while secretly grinning inside “ Where would you like this to go?”

“May I show you something?” 

“ Of course” 

We walked back to the lobby where we caught a private elevator. He pressed a button to an un numbered floor.

“ Floor G?” I asked.

“ You’ll see.”

“ Ok,” I said nervously, a part of me wondered where he was taking me. Luckily I brought pearl in case my right hook doesn’t make the point.

As the elevator doors opened, an atrium filled with exotic plants and trees greeted me. It was if we stepped into another world. The pinks, fuchsias, and oranges brightly colored the room. Although it was 12:30 at night it felt like the sun was just setting. 

“ This is beautiful, “ was all I could manage to say. Who would have thought such a tropical paradise hid amongst the slums of New York City.

“ It’s one of my favorite places,” he said to me, “ I come here often to think about the different decisions I make.”

“ O yea? Like what?” I asked.

“ Like your offer,” he responded.

“ And what is your decision?” I asked beyond the African Moon flowers I was smelling.

“ I’d like to pursue a partnership with you contingent upon you agreeing to my terms.” 

Unlike me, he decided to tuck his professionalism in his pocket instead of leaving it at home. 

“ Ok,” I said as I walked towards him, “ I’ll play ball, name your terms.”

“ First, we must never let us interfere with our businesses,”

“ Agreed,” I responded.

“ Secondly,” he walked closer into me, his Armani cologne danced through my senses, “you must let me spoil you, teach you, and learn you in every way that you allow me to.”

“Mmmm....Agreed,” my response barely left my lips, for both sets dripped with fantasy. 

“ Lastly Ms. Peele, I require your honesty no matter how hurtful nor brash.”

“ So...Where do I sign?” I asked. 

His hand gently brushed my cheek, while the other cupped one of my dimpled assets. His tongue traced my lips before deeply plunging into the tastes of my mouth. 

My secret garden opened it’s gates, and let him taste the forbidden fruit. He was the Adam to my Eve and we were going to rule the world. 

Life's Sentence

When I first met him it was through my best friend. He fancied her more so at the time. And as our years in college rolled by he became the loser. He involved himself in criminal activities, hung around the wrong people, and before I knew it he became the 30 year old Greek still trying to be down with the homies. He was no longer cute no longer smooth just....there.

Yet as I watched him fall through the skies of cool to the grounds of uncouth, I understood how he a man of stature was struggling with his fall from grace. He was the people pleaser, and I being one myself I recognized all of the signs. He committed crime, only to be revered as “The Man.” The man he lacked in his own life, the man that his frat was inspired by, and the “ladies” man all of his boys took notes from. Yet the fakes that surrounded him neglected to tell him that being caught in such an act would result in reputational homicide. 

And on that crisp and cold November Day he was slandered by the lies, and mauled by the revelations that his “friends” were his ultimate haters planning his demise. And so he sat in that court room and watched as each one put on their play. Each monologue perfectly spoken as if it had been practiced for days. 

So when the judge asks, “ Young man is there anything you’d like to say?”

He stood in the sea of lies, while his reality crashed like waves against his body crushing the innocence that was left inside of him.

He choked, “I’ve made a mistake...... and i’ll  take the consequences.” His hopes and dreams shattered into pieces, as each tear rolled down his cheeks.

He was no longer mastering the storm, he had become overwhelmed by it. 

His mind played the jury as his Soul played the judge, and there his heart stood waiting to be sentenced. 

As he took his last breath as a free man, he listened to what his judge had said,

“For your wrong doings I sentence you to life, learn how to grow and don’t make these mistakes twice.” 

I Got a Big Ego

I was once told that your twenties is when you make your mistakes and live without a limit. Yet here I am 3 years into my frenzied 20s life and I still feel as if I am making mountains of mistakes instead of small hills. As I grow I’m starting to find how childish I can be. For one I am very impulsive. For example I went to Miami and tatted my finger, did I think about it no, was it a good idea at the time, yes, will I regret this at 80 mmm.....probably. But that’s my mistake I’ll have to bear it and fix it on my own. I’m also finding that aI have a tough time dealing with forgiveness. I have tried my hardest to say forgive and forget but the main problem seems to be that I NEVER FORGET so why the hell should I forgive? I’m also finding that it’s caused me to hail the Diddy manufactured term of No Bitchassness instead of embracing the term forgiveness is key.Yet, a perk to these roaring twenties is that I have had to opportunity to meet someone I haven’t met in years. I’m finding that she is becoming ever more present and is slowly trying to take over the best sides of me. We all know who that person is, for me she’s my alter ego. 

You see, i’ve always known that the other side of me was there. However, I’ve tried to keep her locked up and only let her out on special occasions. This alter ego of mine is everything that the innocent Kyndall envies. She’s a vixen in the bedroom, a no nonsense, who gives a F@#*, brand new kind of girl. For those of you who need a visual this alter ego is a mix of Tammy, Amber, and all other bad girls. She a dominatrix, and if you can’t handle her then that means you are weak yourself (yea that’s her frame of mind). 

The bright side of this other me, is that she is always down for a good time.  There will never be a night where she won’t have her “Moment for Life.”  And if she wants something please believe that she will get it. 

Yet the darker side of my ego is that she isn’t willing to forgive. If she doesn’t like you believe me you will surely know. She also doesn’t assess want versus need. Although she wants something after she has it, innocent Kyndall questions whether or not she really needed it. For example, recently my alter ego broke a promise she kept with me. We were supposed to spend time getting to know who the real Kyndall is and balancing the good vs bad, without having to rely on guy to tell me. Yet, ego just couldn’t  hold up. Her flirtatious ways and seductive body language  coerced old flames into lighting the fire that dwelled in her lower body. Before I knew it I was caught up in the rapture of lust, without a clue as to how I will loose myself from it’s grip. 

It’s these moments of struggle that my ego enjoys watching. She enjoys putting me in a situation of regret she enjoys making me into this cocky person I had never been. In some ways innocent Kyndall understands. 

Although my “good” side seeks the love of her life, to marry, have a family and children and truly settle down. My “good” side also knows that in order to be with anyone I must first learn how to be with myself and only me. Despite the opinions and despite the misinterpretations of who I am.

 I’m in a position i’ve never been in. All of sudden I’m starting to realize mmmm....I am quite beautiful. I’m starting to block out the numerous opinions of others and finally just DO ME and most importantly I’m starting to truly mold my life’s ten commandments without looking for a divine intervention to tell me so. And even though my ego is hard to control I must confess that it is my ego that has led me to look in the mirror and really find out who the chick is staring back at me. 

**** Sneak Peak**** Chapter 1

“I can’t do this,” Charles said as he stood before sofia after making the last toast as a single man.

“I...I...I don’t understand what do you mean?” Sofia’s eyes grew heavy as she tried to deny the words that eagerly slipped out of Charles’ mouth.

“ I’m sorry Sofie I can’t marry you,” Charles felt as if the world were crashing down in a simple moment he realized he couldn’t subject Sofia to the secrets that would soon be revealed. Yet, it was suicide watching the look on his fiance’s face as it slowly killed him.

“I....I don’t understand,” was all she kept saying.

“I know Sofia, but....I just can’t, I’m sorry,” and with that apology charles took his cue and left Sofia, waiting for an explanation she will never have.......

Chapter 1 

“Sofia? he has never called me that,” Sofia thought to herself as she watched charles take each step out of the door. 

She and Charles had endured everything, from the loss of a child to her cancer, to his mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer's, if anything their love was meant to last forever.

“I ....I just don’t understand,” she kept saying to herself, “I don’t understand,” 

“Sofia boo! you okay?!” Moments ago Sofia’s maid of honor and linesister had just professed how deep their love was,” Sofia?! Sofia.....” her linesister kept saying her name. 

Her linesister approached her and immediately recognized the look of horror on Sofia’s face , “ O my God,” was all she could manage to say, 

“ I just....I just don’t understand E...I...I don’t get it....” Sofia’s daze continued she hadn’t realized that the wedding party all gazed upon her wondering what just happened.

An hour ago Sofia had just watched Charles speak of how their love was unbreakable, a legacy, something rarely seen and envied, yet she still couldn’t understand.

“ What happened?” her linesister asked as she gently guided Sofia to the day room.

“ I....I don’t know...one minute he’s professing our love...the next...he’s telling me he can’t do it...I just don’t understand Erica I don’t...I don’t get it.”

“ It could be cold feet girl...you know how men get...one minute they are living it up the single style then BOOM tomorrow you are getting married, did he say anything else?” 

“No....nothing...” Sofia said to Erika. Sofia and Erika had been best friends since her freshmen year in college, after two years of friendship they became life long linesisters and pledged the same sorority. 

“ I’ll call him girl...he probably just needs some tough love,” Erica gazed upon her phone searching eagerly for Charles’ number, there wasn’t a ring as his phone went straight to voicemail.

Hey Charles this is Erica I just wanted to check on you if you want me to send your boys over to talk let me know, we are just wondering what’s going on?” 

As Erica left her message Sofia continued to stare into the venue that now had became a a blur of nothing.

“I....don’t understand....” Sofia said again and again.

“C’mon girl let’s get you home, “ Erika motioned the valet to retrieve her car. 

“What the fuck is going on on?!” Gayle asked as she stormed into the day room, “ Where the hell is Charles?!”

“Not now,” Erica said, “ Gayle just entertain the guests for the night everything is fine.”

“Alright,” Gayle said hesitantly as she eyed Sofia. As she turned to walk back into the dining room she said, “ Sofia...just let me know if I need to beat a nigga’s ass,” and with that she walked into the dining room reassuring everyone that everything was fine.

“It will be better in the morning,” Erica said to Sofia as she clutched her sister and guided her to the car. 

The ride through San Diego felt like the longest road trip Sofia had ever taken.

“I don’t get it E...” she kept saying.

“I know boo...” Erica replied with the most reassurance she could fathom.

As Sofia watched the shores of San Diego pass by she thought about the past  6 years. 

Charles had proposed to her on a whim. She had no idea, granted after year three they began the talk of marriage but Sofia didn’ t know when Charles would make the lifetime commitment. 

But that night as they laid  on the beach and watched the waves gently flow against their toes, Charles solidified his love to her.

“Bay....you are my everything, “ he started saying.

“I know as you are mine babe...” Sofia replied unaware of the serious turn the atmosphere had taken.

“ If I asked you to be with me forever...would you?” Charles asked as he stared into the ocean skies. 

“ Of coarse,” Sofia had replied.Charles had this same conversation when Sofia was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. After two months of treatment and her cancer went into remission. She knew that she couldn’t have fought through it without Charles.

“ I’m serious bay,” Charles said into the night sky.

“I know,” Sofia whispered. The waves provided an acoustic sound as she and Charles shared the most intimate moment they had had in years.

“ So will you...spend the rest of your life with  me?” 

Sofia turned to gaze into Charles’ eyes but she was met with a four carat diamond and immediately the butterflies had returned.

“ O my god YES!!! YES!!!” Charles slipped the ring on her finger and they spent the night celebrating their life long love. She had given herself fully to Charles, that night he finally took what he had been waiting for...her entire being. It was the best sex they had ever had. 

As Sofia reminisced on the moment she still hadn’t imagined Charles uncertainty.

  “ i really don’t get it...I just don’t,” she said into the darkness.

“ I promise you it’s cold feet,” Erica kept reassuring her. 

As they pulled into the driveway Sofia noticed Charles’ space remained empty.

 “ He’s just scared right now...you know how men get,” Erica kept reassuring her.

As Erica unlocked Sofia’s door the house leaked the feeling of emptiness it was no longer a home. 

Erica guided Sofia to her room and gently undressed her and slipped on her night gown. She laid Sofia in her bed and grasped her her hand hoping to feel some type of life, but her hand was cold.

“Sofie, don’t worry... I promise you its cold feet Charles loves you...” Erica held on tight to Sofia’s hand, yet something deep inside told Sofia that it may be over.....

XXX

****Warning this blog is not meant for the faint of heart, uppity christians, or my mama, Know that this short story is PURELY FICTION. I just wanted to write about the imagery i've had pint up inside (enjoy)***

I only knew him for a day....he had hit me up after seeing me in the club.

“Hi,” he whispered into my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck alerted me that this man was trouble. His low voice vibrating in my ear cued the tension in my body to slightly release, and I didn’t even bring an extra pair of panties. 

“Why hello there,” I seductively retorted. I turned around to see who this stranger was whispering in my ear and causing this small eruption. 

His 6 foot frame towered over me, the lighting in the club hit him just the way I like, I was caught up at first sight. His smooth brown skin taunted me saying, “ you know you want to taste me, just one lick.” My tongue ached to taste the lips of this man. It lightly trail across my lips, as my mind subconsciously fantasized about the things I could do to him. 

“So what should I call you?” I asked, I wanted to see if he could play the game, if he could mentally seduce me, and make me feign for him without having to touch him.

“I’m known to be your everything, your man, your protector, and your lover but for now...you can call me Isaiah.”

Whew girl get it together I said to myself I had almost lost my composure and panties all in the same moment. I know it’s spring and all but am I really ready for a man to tend to my garden?

“Isaiah...what a pleasure it is to meet you.” 

“Likewise,” he said as he gave me a coy grin. The look in his eyes told me that he too was wondering how it felt to be twisted in each other's sheets. 

The lust between us trumped the celibacy I was trying to maintain. I just wanted to see...well taste and see.

"Here's my card...call me," 

"Ok," was all I could manage to say.

"I'll talk to you later," he said as he removed his hand from the small of my back. He disappeared into the dark shadows of the club, but the fire inside of me lit my entire body.

My lustful encounter made me forget that I did come to the club with my girls.

"Mmmmmhmmmmm," was all they could say.

"what?!" I asked trying my hardest to pretend like I had no idea what was going on.

"O you know what missy!" my closest friend responded.

"I know who he is. but...I am curious to know what IT is," I replied, trying my hardest to conceal my grin of deception. 

The entire night I debated on calling him. I didn't want to seem desperate, but hell...I missed the feeling of calloused hands caressing my body, while the melodies of a deep voice whispered in my ear. I tried all of the girl byes, and I don't need its I could. But just like a future addict I was intrigued, wanting to know what the first hit would feel like. 

So, I text him. My inner G kept me from calling. 

"I was wondering when you were going to call."

"how do you know it's me?"

"Because you are the only lady I want to speak to."

Immediately my mistress became moist, I had learned my lesson the first time around and opted not to wear panties to bed. 

"Speechless?'

"......." was all i could text

" From the moment I saw you I knew I wanted to please you, taste you, and show just how much my body needs a woman like you."

Pause," Needs me? You don't even know me?"

"O but I do, my hunger for a woman of your caliber was insatiable until I saw you."

"And what caliber is this?" 

" The confidence that coats a room and makes every man stop what he's doing to witness greatness walk by."

"Mmm...poetic I see." 

"Nah not poetic...just being real with you."

" I like that..."

"I know you do.. So tell me when can I taste you."

" It seems as if you are only concerned with how I taste."

"Licking you is the first step in learning just how sweet you are."

           Ok Kyn, you can get one taste, you've been good, it's almost been a year, The bad girl in me silenced every statement of reasoning my good girl innocence had thrown out .

"Ok....tonight...let's see if you can lick me down." 

"Gladly."

I text him my address and prepared my home for the ecstasy I was about to receive.

My conscious said make him work for it, but my sexually explicit bad girl played out each scene of our sex tape. 

My doorbell rang, and there he stood. His wide grin showed every last one of his pearly white teeth. As he stepped into my home I stopped to admire the handsome giant standing before me. His arms were tattooed like Picasso paintings.

"How many do you have?"

"both arms are full sleeved, one across my back, and another across my chest."

I took a deep breath, tattoos have always been my weakness.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yea,"

"What would you like..."

"You,"  His long arms wrapped around my waist, I could feel the muscles in his body tense and release as the blood rushed through his veins. He leaned down and kissed me, I felt the heat of his lust coating my throat. 

My good girl had left the building, Cyn had arrived.

I laid his tall frame across my bed, and began my exploring. First his stomach, where I licked each of the abs that made his six pack, then his chest ever so lightly brushing his nipples with my lips, then his neck where I left the imprints of my wet kisses, when I reached his ears I lightly sucked on his lobes and whispered," I want to see if you can please the lips you kiss...before you taste the one's  you'll lick."

Without words or hesitance he changed positions, I watched as the towering frame that once hovered over me disappear between my legs. My body fully indulged. He licked me as if I were the best meal he ever had. The rush of the moment overwhelmed my body. The light I hadn't seen in months finally shined, and I....released......

He arose from my legs and lightly kissed my neck, he then whispered back to me, "I just wanted to taste and see." He kissed me deeper than he had before, as if he were thanking me for tasting so good.

I positioned myself on top of him again, but this time I let him do the exploring. His massive hands searched each crevice of my body. I could feel him trying not to explode as I unzipped his pants. I reached in to feel the member that would soon be gracing my walls. His size let me know that I would be walking bow legged for weeks. But I didn't care, Mandingo didn't compare to the tree he concealed in between his legs. 

" Ready?" I asked him.

"Only if you are," he managed to say through his heavy breathing.

And with his consent I broke my nine month stint.

Gypsy Chronicle 1: Buckets, Strippers, and the Journey

She was a best friend of mine. I had watched her grow from a young unabashed girl to a woman i barely knew. The years we had spent playing together, gossiping about the boys in school, and exchanging our most intimate secrets were faint memories, that left similarity linger within our estrangement. Yet, we were both traveling the same path. I had lost my desire to work and gained the pleasure of exploring who I am, while she lost all of her pleasures and gained only the material means of work she hadn't fathomed of doing. But…we still saw the same person in one another both free spirits seeking an out in a world that 's boxed in societal ways. 

That night I watched her, as she seductively graced her way through crowds of thirsty men. She wore everything you would expect her too from lace to lust and plastered on a coy smile to market her product. Even still with the thousands of eyes that gazed upon her, I was the only person who could see her. I was the only one who saw her unhappiness, her heart breaking with each stiletto heeled step, and her spirit diminish. She was no longer a person she was a product. And even though I never laced poles with my body or seductively captivated my audience, I knew where she was in her life, for I was walking the same lost footsteps aimlessly around this path trying to find the road to freedom. 

We had the same lives at one point in time. Both came from a home of loving parents, both have siblings we are close to, and we both were victims of the spirit tearing abuse that words from others mouths can do. We were each others heros. Protecting our sisterhood that formed from our friendship. We were the inner workings of what it meant to be best friends.

And yet, there we were after years of separation, lost contact, and miles of resentment ; on the same journey finding who we are amongst all of the chaos. We both faced life threatening moments that propelled reality to the forefront of our thoughts. Her disease to please overcame her physical being and tormented her spiritual, while I was healing from mine and struggling in this rehab called self fulfillment. 

I spent my days in bed making bucket lists of the dreams I plan to achieve, while she spent her nights in sheets of lost dreams, checking off her lists of jobs done. But this journey we are taking, trying to find ourselves revealed a concreted love that was never lost. I knew that she will always be my best friend, my sister, my hero. And even in these days where I know who holds my tomorrow while she hopes to see her tomorrow peak upon the Atlanta horizons, she knows that I will always be there. 

Where this journey of finding me will take me, I don't know. But i'd rather be lost hopelessly in my dreams than to walk,like she, aimlessly in a reality that only abuses me amongst the Atlanta streets.