He's always been a friend of mine, but we knew that one day our chemistry and desire for more would show itself. It happened on a Monday night. We were doing our usual; dinner and watching the game, when he asked me," How long are you going to make me chase you?"
I for one was quite taken off guard, "chase me?" was all I could manage to say.
"yea, chase as in why do you keep running?"
Until that moment, I hadn't thought about it. We were like two peas in a pod. Every sentence I began he finished, when it came to debating we could go all night, and he never clouted my dreams or told me that I'm too whimsical. Instead, he stood behind me and encouraged me to go for it.
He was like the Clyde to my Bonnie. We both possessed a hunger for success but subdued it with the thirst to please others. And even on my bitchiest days when all I could do was fuss he would be right there with a glass of wine and listen. So when he said chase, I envisioned a woman who consistently runs, and I for one hate running I'd rather face things head on.
"Running?" I asked, " I vouch to say that I've always been here, now you my friend are so caught up in the chase that you didn't stop to see that I've been right next to you the whole time."
"Hmm, well put Ms. Peele," he responded ," So are you saying you are ready for something more?"
"I'm saying that you are my best friend and I love you, what this love grows into neither of us knows so why don't we take it day by day?"
" I can do that," he responded.
And there we were cuddled up with one another watching the game but envisioning our relationship.
The transition from friends to lovers can be easy and it can be difficult. No matter what anyone says, when you involve intimacy and sex consistently over a period of time someone is bound to catch feelings. What you do with those feelings and how you handle the relationship determines the outcome.
For me and my best friend we vowed to always be open minded with one another and most importantly to always be honest. So when we did engage in sensual relations and I realized that I couldn't be physically satisfied by him I told him. Granted no man ,friend or not, likes to be told that he isn't king kong in the bedroom. However my honesty with him garnered respect and my sensitivity to his feelings soothed the awkwardness of the moment. He understood.
When you have a true friendship you can be openly honest with your friend but you also know how they will perceive your honesty. So many people get caught up in the idea of having a "friend with benefits" or being married or being in a relationship, but they neglect the reality that you are involving yourself in someone else's life and that it's no longer about you it's about we. How are WE going to handle this situation? How do WE communicate? etc In any relationship you have to consider the WE and truly digest and adhere to the needs and feelings of the person (s) involved. This makes communication better and it strengthens your relationship.
So for my best friend and me we had a brief stint. And now we live ions away from each other yet we still talk every night and watch the game (via skype) every Monday. I vouch to say that he will probably be the best man in my wedding, provided my future husband doesn't read this :) At the end of the day it's about what we created, he is a great man and as I said before he is my best friend and I do love him. So, he wasn't a friend with benefits, because I already benefited from the love, strength, and courage he gave me through our friendship and it's those benefits that will continue our friendship for a lifetime.
