She was a best friend of mine. I had watched her grow from a young unabashed girl to a woman i barely knew. The years we had spent playing together, gossiping about the boys in school, and exchanging our most intimate secrets were faint memories, that left similarity linger within our estrangement. Yet, we were both traveling the same path. I had lost my desire to work and gained the pleasure of exploring who I am, while she lost all of her pleasures and gained only the material means of work she hadn't fathomed of doing. But…we still saw the same person in one another both free spirits seeking an out in a world that 's boxed in societal ways.
That night I watched her, as she seductively graced her way through crowds of thirsty men. She wore everything you would expect her too from lace to lust and plastered on a coy smile to market her product. Even still with the thousands of eyes that gazed upon her, I was the only person who could see her. I was the only one who saw her unhappiness, her heart breaking with each stiletto heeled step, and her spirit diminish. She was no longer a person she was a product. And even though I never laced poles with my body or seductively captivated my audience, I knew where she was in her life, for I was walking the same lost footsteps aimlessly around this path trying to find the road to freedom.
We had the same lives at one point in time. Both came from a home of loving parents, both have siblings we are close to, and we both were victims of the spirit tearing abuse that words from others mouths can do. We were each others heros. Protecting our sisterhood that formed from our friendship. We were the inner workings of what it meant to be best friends.
And yet, there we were after years of separation, lost contact, and miles of resentment ; on the same journey finding who we are amongst all of the chaos. We both faced life threatening moments that propelled reality to the forefront of our thoughts. Her disease to please overcame her physical being and tormented her spiritual, while I was healing from mine and struggling in this rehab called self fulfillment.
I spent my days in bed making bucket lists of the dreams I plan to achieve, while she spent her nights in sheets of lost dreams, checking off her lists of jobs done. But this journey we are taking, trying to find ourselves revealed a concreted love that was never lost. I knew that she will always be my best friend, my sister, my hero. And even in these days where I know who holds my tomorrow while she hopes to see her tomorrow peak upon the Atlanta horizons, she knows that I will always be there.
Where this journey of finding me will take me, I don't know. But i'd rather be lost hopelessly in my dreams than to walk,like she, aimlessly in a reality that only abuses me amongst the Atlanta streets.
