Life's Sentence

When I first met him it was through my best friend. He fancied her more so at the time. And as our years in college rolled by he became the loser. He involved himself in criminal activities, hung around the wrong people, and before I knew it he became the 30 year old Greek still trying to be down with the homies. He was no longer cute no longer smooth just....there.

Yet as I watched him fall through the skies of cool to the grounds of uncouth, I understood how he a man of stature was struggling with his fall from grace. He was the people pleaser, and I being one myself I recognized all of the signs. He committed crime, only to be revered as “The Man.” The man he lacked in his own life, the man that his frat was inspired by, and the “ladies” man all of his boys took notes from. Yet the fakes that surrounded him neglected to tell him that being caught in such an act would result in reputational homicide. 

And on that crisp and cold November Day he was slandered by the lies, and mauled by the revelations that his “friends” were his ultimate haters planning his demise. And so he sat in that court room and watched as each one put on their play. Each monologue perfectly spoken as if it had been practiced for days. 

So when the judge asks, “ Young man is there anything you’d like to say?”

He stood in the sea of lies, while his reality crashed like waves against his body crushing the innocence that was left inside of him.

He choked, “I’ve made a mistake...... and i’ll  take the consequences.” His hopes and dreams shattered into pieces, as each tear rolled down his cheeks.

He was no longer mastering the storm, he had become overwhelmed by it. 

His mind played the jury as his Soul played the judge, and there his heart stood waiting to be sentenced. 

As he took his last breath as a free man, he listened to what his judge had said,

“For your wrong doings I sentence you to life, learn how to grow and don’t make these mistakes twice.” 

I Got a Big Ego

I was once told that your twenties is when you make your mistakes and live without a limit. Yet here I am 3 years into my frenzied 20s life and I still feel as if I am making mountains of mistakes instead of small hills. As I grow I’m starting to find how childish I can be. For one I am very impulsive. For example I went to Miami and tatted my finger, did I think about it no, was it a good idea at the time, yes, will I regret this at 80 mmm.....probably. But that’s my mistake I’ll have to bear it and fix it on my own. I’m also finding that aI have a tough time dealing with forgiveness. I have tried my hardest to say forgive and forget but the main problem seems to be that I NEVER FORGET so why the hell should I forgive? I’m also finding that it’s caused me to hail the Diddy manufactured term of No Bitchassness instead of embracing the term forgiveness is key.Yet, a perk to these roaring twenties is that I have had to opportunity to meet someone I haven’t met in years. I’m finding that she is becoming ever more present and is slowly trying to take over the best sides of me. We all know who that person is, for me she’s my alter ego. 

You see, i’ve always known that the other side of me was there. However, I’ve tried to keep her locked up and only let her out on special occasions. This alter ego of mine is everything that the innocent Kyndall envies. She’s a vixen in the bedroom, a no nonsense, who gives a F@#*, brand new kind of girl. For those of you who need a visual this alter ego is a mix of Tammy, Amber, and all other bad girls. She a dominatrix, and if you can’t handle her then that means you are weak yourself (yea that’s her frame of mind). 

The bright side of this other me, is that she is always down for a good time.  There will never be a night where she won’t have her “Moment for Life.”  And if she wants something please believe that she will get it. 

Yet the darker side of my ego is that she isn’t willing to forgive. If she doesn’t like you believe me you will surely know. She also doesn’t assess want versus need. Although she wants something after she has it, innocent Kyndall questions whether or not she really needed it. For example, recently my alter ego broke a promise she kept with me. We were supposed to spend time getting to know who the real Kyndall is and balancing the good vs bad, without having to rely on guy to tell me. Yet, ego just couldn’t  hold up. Her flirtatious ways and seductive body language  coerced old flames into lighting the fire that dwelled in her lower body. Before I knew it I was caught up in the rapture of lust, without a clue as to how I will loose myself from it’s grip. 

It’s these moments of struggle that my ego enjoys watching. She enjoys putting me in a situation of regret she enjoys making me into this cocky person I had never been. In some ways innocent Kyndall understands. 

Although my “good” side seeks the love of her life, to marry, have a family and children and truly settle down. My “good” side also knows that in order to be with anyone I must first learn how to be with myself and only me. Despite the opinions and despite the misinterpretations of who I am.

 I’m in a position i’ve never been in. All of sudden I’m starting to realize mmmm....I am quite beautiful. I’m starting to block out the numerous opinions of others and finally just DO ME and most importantly I’m starting to truly mold my life’s ten commandments without looking for a divine intervention to tell me so. And even though my ego is hard to control I must confess that it is my ego that has led me to look in the mirror and really find out who the chick is staring back at me. 

**** Sneak Peak**** Chapter 1

“I can’t do this,” Charles said as he stood before sofia after making the last toast as a single man.

“I...I...I don’t understand what do you mean?” Sofia’s eyes grew heavy as she tried to deny the words that eagerly slipped out of Charles’ mouth.

“ I’m sorry Sofie I can’t marry you,” Charles felt as if the world were crashing down in a simple moment he realized he couldn’t subject Sofia to the secrets that would soon be revealed. Yet, it was suicide watching the look on his fiance’s face as it slowly killed him.

“I....I don’t understand,” was all she kept saying.

“I know Sofia, but....I just can’t, I’m sorry,” and with that apology charles took his cue and left Sofia, waiting for an explanation she will never have.......

Chapter 1 

“Sofia? he has never called me that,” Sofia thought to herself as she watched charles take each step out of the door. 

She and Charles had endured everything, from the loss of a child to her cancer, to his mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer's, if anything their love was meant to last forever.

“I ....I just don’t understand,” she kept saying to herself, “I don’t understand,” 

“Sofia boo! you okay?!” Moments ago Sofia’s maid of honor and linesister had just professed how deep their love was,” Sofia?! Sofia.....” her linesister kept saying her name. 

Her linesister approached her and immediately recognized the look of horror on Sofia’s face , “ O my God,” was all she could manage to say, 

“ I just....I just don’t understand E...I...I don’t get it....” Sofia’s daze continued she hadn’t realized that the wedding party all gazed upon her wondering what just happened.

An hour ago Sofia had just watched Charles speak of how their love was unbreakable, a legacy, something rarely seen and envied, yet she still couldn’t understand.

“ What happened?” her linesister asked as she gently guided Sofia to the day room.

“ I....I don’t know...one minute he’s professing our love...the next...he’s telling me he can’t do it...I just don’t understand Erica I don’t...I don’t get it.”

“ It could be cold feet girl...you know how men get...one minute they are living it up the single style then BOOM tomorrow you are getting married, did he say anything else?” 

“No....nothing...” Sofia said to Erika. Sofia and Erika had been best friends since her freshmen year in college, after two years of friendship they became life long linesisters and pledged the same sorority. 

“ I’ll call him girl...he probably just needs some tough love,” Erica gazed upon her phone searching eagerly for Charles’ number, there wasn’t a ring as his phone went straight to voicemail.

Hey Charles this is Erica I just wanted to check on you if you want me to send your boys over to talk let me know, we are just wondering what’s going on?” 

As Erica left her message Sofia continued to stare into the venue that now had became a a blur of nothing.

“I....don’t understand....” Sofia said again and again.

“C’mon girl let’s get you home, “ Erika motioned the valet to retrieve her car. 

“What the fuck is going on on?!” Gayle asked as she stormed into the day room, “ Where the hell is Charles?!”

“Not now,” Erica said, “ Gayle just entertain the guests for the night everything is fine.”

“Alright,” Gayle said hesitantly as she eyed Sofia. As she turned to walk back into the dining room she said, “ Sofia...just let me know if I need to beat a nigga’s ass,” and with that she walked into the dining room reassuring everyone that everything was fine.

“It will be better in the morning,” Erica said to Sofia as she clutched her sister and guided her to the car. 

The ride through San Diego felt like the longest road trip Sofia had ever taken.

“I don’t get it E...” she kept saying.

“I know boo...” Erica replied with the most reassurance she could fathom.

As Sofia watched the shores of San Diego pass by she thought about the past  6 years. 

Charles had proposed to her on a whim. She had no idea, granted after year three they began the talk of marriage but Sofia didn’ t know when Charles would make the lifetime commitment. 

But that night as they laid  on the beach and watched the waves gently flow against their toes, Charles solidified his love to her.

“Bay....you are my everything, “ he started saying.

“I know as you are mine babe...” Sofia replied unaware of the serious turn the atmosphere had taken.

“ If I asked you to be with me forever...would you?” Charles asked as he stared into the ocean skies. 

“ Of coarse,” Sofia had replied.Charles had this same conversation when Sofia was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. After two months of treatment and her cancer went into remission. She knew that she couldn’t have fought through it without Charles.

“ I’m serious bay,” Charles said into the night sky.

“I know,” Sofia whispered. The waves provided an acoustic sound as she and Charles shared the most intimate moment they had had in years.

“ So will you...spend the rest of your life with  me?” 

Sofia turned to gaze into Charles’ eyes but she was met with a four carat diamond and immediately the butterflies had returned.

“ O my god YES!!! YES!!!” Charles slipped the ring on her finger and they spent the night celebrating their life long love. She had given herself fully to Charles, that night he finally took what he had been waiting for...her entire being. It was the best sex they had ever had. 

As Sofia reminisced on the moment she still hadn’t imagined Charles uncertainty.

  “ i really don’t get it...I just don’t,” she said into the darkness.

“ I promise you it’s cold feet,” Erica kept reassuring her. 

As they pulled into the driveway Sofia noticed Charles’ space remained empty.

 “ He’s just scared right now...you know how men get,” Erica kept reassuring her.

As Erica unlocked Sofia’s door the house leaked the feeling of emptiness it was no longer a home. 

Erica guided Sofia to her room and gently undressed her and slipped on her night gown. She laid Sofia in her bed and grasped her her hand hoping to feel some type of life, but her hand was cold.

“Sofie, don’t worry... I promise you its cold feet Charles loves you...” Erica held on tight to Sofia’s hand, yet something deep inside told Sofia that it may be over.....

XXX

****Warning this blog is not meant for the faint of heart, uppity christians, or my mama, Know that this short story is PURELY FICTION. I just wanted to write about the imagery i've had pint up inside (enjoy)***

I only knew him for a day....he had hit me up after seeing me in the club.

“Hi,” he whispered into my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck alerted me that this man was trouble. His low voice vibrating in my ear cued the tension in my body to slightly release, and I didn’t even bring an extra pair of panties. 

“Why hello there,” I seductively retorted. I turned around to see who this stranger was whispering in my ear and causing this small eruption. 

His 6 foot frame towered over me, the lighting in the club hit him just the way I like, I was caught up at first sight. His smooth brown skin taunted me saying, “ you know you want to taste me, just one lick.” My tongue ached to taste the lips of this man. It lightly trail across my lips, as my mind subconsciously fantasized about the things I could do to him. 

“So what should I call you?” I asked, I wanted to see if he could play the game, if he could mentally seduce me, and make me feign for him without having to touch him.

“I’m known to be your everything, your man, your protector, and your lover but for now...you can call me Isaiah.”

Whew girl get it together I said to myself I had almost lost my composure and panties all in the same moment. I know it’s spring and all but am I really ready for a man to tend to my garden?

“Isaiah...what a pleasure it is to meet you.” 

“Likewise,” he said as he gave me a coy grin. The look in his eyes told me that he too was wondering how it felt to be twisted in each other's sheets. 

The lust between us trumped the celibacy I was trying to maintain. I just wanted to see...well taste and see.

"Here's my card...call me," 

"Ok," was all I could manage to say.

"I'll talk to you later," he said as he removed his hand from the small of my back. He disappeared into the dark shadows of the club, but the fire inside of me lit my entire body.

My lustful encounter made me forget that I did come to the club with my girls.

"Mmmmmhmmmmm," was all they could say.

"what?!" I asked trying my hardest to pretend like I had no idea what was going on.

"O you know what missy!" my closest friend responded.

"I know who he is. but...I am curious to know what IT is," I replied, trying my hardest to conceal my grin of deception. 

The entire night I debated on calling him. I didn't want to seem desperate, but hell...I missed the feeling of calloused hands caressing my body, while the melodies of a deep voice whispered in my ear. I tried all of the girl byes, and I don't need its I could. But just like a future addict I was intrigued, wanting to know what the first hit would feel like. 

So, I text him. My inner G kept me from calling. 

"I was wondering when you were going to call."

"how do you know it's me?"

"Because you are the only lady I want to speak to."

Immediately my mistress became moist, I had learned my lesson the first time around and opted not to wear panties to bed. 

"Speechless?'

"......." was all i could text

" From the moment I saw you I knew I wanted to please you, taste you, and show just how much my body needs a woman like you."

Pause," Needs me? You don't even know me?"

"O but I do, my hunger for a woman of your caliber was insatiable until I saw you."

"And what caliber is this?" 

" The confidence that coats a room and makes every man stop what he's doing to witness greatness walk by."

"Mmm...poetic I see." 

"Nah not poetic...just being real with you."

" I like that..."

"I know you do.. So tell me when can I taste you."

" It seems as if you are only concerned with how I taste."

"Licking you is the first step in learning just how sweet you are."

           Ok Kyn, you can get one taste, you've been good, it's almost been a year, The bad girl in me silenced every statement of reasoning my good girl innocence had thrown out .

"Ok....tonight...let's see if you can lick me down." 

"Gladly."

I text him my address and prepared my home for the ecstasy I was about to receive.

My conscious said make him work for it, but my sexually explicit bad girl played out each scene of our sex tape. 

My doorbell rang, and there he stood. His wide grin showed every last one of his pearly white teeth. As he stepped into my home I stopped to admire the handsome giant standing before me. His arms were tattooed like Picasso paintings.

"How many do you have?"

"both arms are full sleeved, one across my back, and another across my chest."

I took a deep breath, tattoos have always been my weakness.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yea,"

"What would you like..."

"You,"  His long arms wrapped around my waist, I could feel the muscles in his body tense and release as the blood rushed through his veins. He leaned down and kissed me, I felt the heat of his lust coating my throat. 

My good girl had left the building, Cyn had arrived.

I laid his tall frame across my bed, and began my exploring. First his stomach, where I licked each of the abs that made his six pack, then his chest ever so lightly brushing his nipples with my lips, then his neck where I left the imprints of my wet kisses, when I reached his ears I lightly sucked on his lobes and whispered," I want to see if you can please the lips you kiss...before you taste the one's  you'll lick."

Without words or hesitance he changed positions, I watched as the towering frame that once hovered over me disappear between my legs. My body fully indulged. He licked me as if I were the best meal he ever had. The rush of the moment overwhelmed my body. The light I hadn't seen in months finally shined, and I....released......

He arose from my legs and lightly kissed my neck, he then whispered back to me, "I just wanted to taste and see." He kissed me deeper than he had before, as if he were thanking me for tasting so good.

I positioned myself on top of him again, but this time I let him do the exploring. His massive hands searched each crevice of my body. I could feel him trying not to explode as I unzipped his pants. I reached in to feel the member that would soon be gracing my walls. His size let me know that I would be walking bow legged for weeks. But I didn't care, Mandingo didn't compare to the tree he concealed in between his legs. 

" Ready?" I asked him.

"Only if you are," he managed to say through his heavy breathing.

And with his consent I broke my nine month stint.

Gypsy Chronicle 1: Buckets, Strippers, and the Journey

She was a best friend of mine. I had watched her grow from a young unabashed girl to a woman i barely knew. The years we had spent playing together, gossiping about the boys in school, and exchanging our most intimate secrets were faint memories, that left similarity linger within our estrangement. Yet, we were both traveling the same path. I had lost my desire to work and gained the pleasure of exploring who I am, while she lost all of her pleasures and gained only the material means of work she hadn't fathomed of doing. But…we still saw the same person in one another both free spirits seeking an out in a world that 's boxed in societal ways. 

That night I watched her, as she seductively graced her way through crowds of thirsty men. She wore everything you would expect her too from lace to lust and plastered on a coy smile to market her product. Even still with the thousands of eyes that gazed upon her, I was the only person who could see her. I was the only one who saw her unhappiness, her heart breaking with each stiletto heeled step, and her spirit diminish. She was no longer a person she was a product. And even though I never laced poles with my body or seductively captivated my audience, I knew where she was in her life, for I was walking the same lost footsteps aimlessly around this path trying to find the road to freedom. 

We had the same lives at one point in time. Both came from a home of loving parents, both have siblings we are close to, and we both were victims of the spirit tearing abuse that words from others mouths can do. We were each others heros. Protecting our sisterhood that formed from our friendship. We were the inner workings of what it meant to be best friends.

And yet, there we were after years of separation, lost contact, and miles of resentment ; on the same journey finding who we are amongst all of the chaos. We both faced life threatening moments that propelled reality to the forefront of our thoughts. Her disease to please overcame her physical being and tormented her spiritual, while I was healing from mine and struggling in this rehab called self fulfillment. 

I spent my days in bed making bucket lists of the dreams I plan to achieve, while she spent her nights in sheets of lost dreams, checking off her lists of jobs done. But this journey we are taking, trying to find ourselves revealed a concreted love that was never lost. I knew that she will always be my best friend, my sister, my hero. And even in these days where I know who holds my tomorrow while she hopes to see her tomorrow peak upon the Atlanta horizons, she knows that I will always be there. 

Where this journey of finding me will take me, I don't know. But i'd rather be lost hopelessly in my dreams than to walk,like she, aimlessly in a reality that only abuses me amongst the Atlanta streets. 

When the Seasons Change

Today, my season began to change. I no longer looked out the foggy windows of life. Today the light of the future made the shadows of my past drift away. So many things happen when my season changes. I shed (or gain) a few pounds, I do something drastic to my hair, but most importantly I shed the dead weight I happened to pick up during the fall and winter. You never know who your dead weight is until you have the opportunity to drop it.

            For example I love my family with every ounce of me, however when it came to dealing with a traumatic time in my life some of my family members abandoned me. Granted, you can never expect for someone to react the way you want them to when it comes to the news that I gave them. However I did expect their support and they have yet to provide it. So in turn they were dropped. I still love them and I still pray for them. Like they say God don’t like ugly, but my “relationship” that I once had with them has been annulled.

A second example, I had a mentor that I loved dearly. This person was like the wind beneath my wings I looked up to them, but then their dark side revealed itself. Now, I tend to see the light more than the darkness when it comes to a person. But, when I had found out that this person was deceiving others to believe untruthful things about me and was also attempting to sabotage my progress I was faced with a decision I never thought I would have to make. So you guessed it…this person was dropped immediately. I’m still professional and I still maintain class, but all extra curricular activities I did with this person have ceased.

Dropping these relationships, in addition to others, was extremely tough for me. When I befriend or engage in any type of relationship whether it is family, friends, sorority sister, or co worker I engage with all the love I have in my heart. People will hurt you, their only human, but when people continue to hurt you after you have addressed that hurt, well….they don’t deserve your love anyway. I’m grieving in a sense, because the relationships I thought I had with these people were killed by the reality of who they truly are. For this reason I’m reluctant when my season begins to change. I tend to get comfortable with how things are and attempt to brush things aside knowing they are clear warning signs. But I believe that God created human beings to be a reflection of his work. Look at nature for example. The trees go through their hibernation stage where they are ugly, dried, and brittle from the whipping of the winds and frigidness of the temps; just like these trees we as human beings go through our stage of hibernation. We go through our tasks and trials only to blossom beautifully when the season changes. This season God has taught me that I need people in my life who will be anchors. We will both have storms in our lives that will sway and challenge us and we will both need to know that in the midst of it all I am here.

Now God and I haven’t had the best of relationships, he’s still working on me, however I do believe that God is showing me how things are when I am in control and how things are when HE is in control. And I must say I like it better when God takes the wheel. There’s a song that says, “It’s a new season it’s a new day a fresh anointing is flowing my way, it’s a season of power and prosperity, there’s a new season coming for me.” I whole heartedly believe this for me and for you. So get ready here comes your new season and I look forward to seeing what the “Spring” brings to life for you!

He called me Kyndall.....

It was my birthday weekend. Granted I had every intention on going HAM, but a part of me thought that I could pick up the pieces. I knew I would run into him, it was inevitable. He was the best friend of my best friend who I happened to be partying it up with that weekend. Yet, a small inkling of me hoped that we weren’t going to have that awkward moment. That he would just so happen to go out of town the weekend I decided to visit.

            He was my heart, well…the first man to capture it. He was the kind that you couldn’t resist loving. He was a lover, musician, friend, and fantasy. I loved laying my head on his chest and falling asleep to the deep drums of his heart. I took joy in pleasuring every one of this man’s needs. I was the outgoing dreamer while he was the introverted logistic. Yet our opposite sides complimented each other. We took each other to another level, we were meant for each other.

The last time I gazed into his eyes he said,

“It’s just you and me bay, and that’s all I need.”

            We had our rough times, but what couple didn’t. Our love for each other made our arguments seem like the universe was shaking, but when we made up the passion we felt for one another made the earth tremble. We didn’t make love it created us. There we were in our far from perfect world, but I was once told, “Love isn’t perfect but it creates perfection.”

            So when he said,” I don’t think we can continue our relationship,” my entire being just shattered.

            “I’m sorry,” I laughed nervously, “Come again.”

“I don’t think we will ever be together bay,” his voice quieted on the phone, I could tell by his whispering that he was just as hurt as me hearing those words come from his lips.

            I had just moved, he still had a semester to finish in school, so we agreed to pursue our love long distance until he graduated and then we would start our lives together.

            “I….I …I don’t,” the words stumbled out of my mouth. Before I could inhale the tears poured from eyes and crashed into a puddle on my hardwood floors.

            The sounds of my heart breaking echoed throughout my soul.

            “Hear me out bay,” I could hear his voice telling me as I slipped deeper and deeper into my dark well of sadness, “You have your own thing going on and I do too, I’m not trying to move all the way out there.”

            “But we were going to make our own moves when you graduated, I don’t understand.”

            “I know but graduation seems so far from now bay.”
“I…I still don’t understand.” I managed to say through my tears.

            “It’s complicated bay, please don’t cry, we can still be friends.”

“Friends?!” How dare he take years of love, tears, blood, sweat, everything we had made and insult it with a friendship!

            “I don’t want to be your friend; I want to be your wife like you promised, your lover, your confidant, everything you are to me! How dare you ask me to me your mediocre friend?!”

            Silence responded to my statement. So I took it upon myself and asked.

“Is there another woman?” No response

            “Tell me! Is there?!”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen….”

            I dropped the phone. There I was speechless and lifeless crying on my hardwood floors.

            Later I learned he had been trapped by some girl; what started as one had thing turned into another. I remember telling him to let her be that she has ulterior motives when it came to their “friendship” but he didn’t listen, he let his vulnerability get the best of him and there she was waiting to catch him up in her web.

            After seven months of I’m over its, I’m all goods, and I ain’t thinking about hims  the pain still lingered and it  felt as if he had just told me.

             I had spent the week wondering what our encounter would be like. Would I fall for him again or would I just have a mad black woman moment? I wondered if he would bring her. I wondered about every scenario that was ethically possible.

            I heard him come through the door. It took everything in me to not look up and greet his eyes with mine. When I felt him next to me I looked up and for a second all of the love I had for him welled up inside of my heart as all of the memories we shared encased it.

            “What’s up Kyndall.” He said

The casing of our memories cracked and the love that was filling my heart poured out onto the floor. Kyndall? He’s never called me that before.

            “Hey,” was all I could manage to say.

I turned back around to my cake and put the love that was left into icing it.

            I didn’t want to let go of my love but that day love left me.

Friends to Lovers

He's always been a friend of mine, but we knew that one day our chemistry and desire for more would show itself. It happened on a Monday night. We were doing our usual; dinner and watching the game, when he asked me," How long are you going to make me chase you?"

I for one was quite taken off guard, "chase me?" was all I could manage to say.

"yea, chase as in why do you keep running?"

Until that moment, I hadn't thought about it. We were like two peas in a pod. Every sentence I began he finished, when it came to debating we could go all night, and he never clouted my dreams or told me that I'm too whimsical. Instead, he stood behind me and encouraged me to go for it.

He was like the Clyde to my Bonnie. We both possessed a hunger for success but subdued it with the thirst to please others. And even on my bitchiest days when all I could do was fuss he would be right there with a glass of wine and listen. So when he said chase, I envisioned a woman who consistently runs, and I for one hate running I'd rather face things head on.

"Running?" I asked, " I vouch to say that I've always been here, now you my friend are so caught up in the chase that you didn't stop to see that I've been right next to you the whole time."

"Hmm, well put Ms. Peele," he responded ," So are you saying you are ready for something more?"

"I'm saying that you are my best friend and I love you, what this love grows into neither of us knows so why don't we take it day by day?"

" I can do that," he responded.

And there we were cuddled up with one another watching the game but envisioning our relationship.

The transition from friends to lovers can be easy and it can be difficult. No matter what anyone says, when you involve intimacy and sex consistently over a period of time someone is bound to catch feelings. What you do with those feelings and how you handle the relationship determines the outcome.

For me and my best friend we vowed to always be open minded with one another and most importantly to always be honest. So when we did engage in sensual relations and I realized that I couldn't be physically satisfied by him I told him. Granted no man ,friend or not, likes to be told that he isn't king kong in the bedroom. However my honesty with him garnered respect and my sensitivity to his feelings soothed the awkwardness of the moment. He understood.

When you have a true friendship you can be openly honest with your friend but you also know how they will perceive your honesty. So many people get caught up in the idea of having a "friend with benefits" or being married or being in a relationship, but they neglect the reality that you are involving yourself in someone else's life and that it's no longer about you it's about we. How are WE going to handle this situation? How do WE communicate? etc In any relationship you have to consider the WE and truly digest and adhere to the needs and feelings of the person (s) involved. This makes communication better and it strengthens your relationship.

So for my best friend and me we had a brief stint. And now we live ions away from each other yet we still talk every night and watch the game (via skype) every Monday. I vouch to say that he will probably be the best man in my wedding, provided my future husband doesn't read this :) At the end of the day it's about what we created, he is a great man and as I said before he is my best friend and I do love him. So, he wasn't a friend with benefits, because I already benefited from the love, strength, and courage he gave me through our friendship and it's those benefits that will continue our friendship for a lifetime.